Sunday, October 22, 2017

When you are before Me


You do not yet understand the value and the meaning of what you are doing when you abide in adoration before My Eucharistic Face.  You are participating in a divine work, in a work of grace.  You are before Me as an empty vessel to be filled with the power and sweetness of the Holy Spirit, that souls might drink of My love and, drinking, see that My love is sweeter than any earthly delight.

You are before Me as the intercessor in whose soul the Holy Spirit is sighing with ineffable groaning and you are obtaining from My Father, through Me, all that the Father desires to give My priests in this world and in the next.

You are the reparator opening yourself to receive the love that so many others ignore, refuse, or treat with indifference, coldness, and disdain.  By offering yourself to Me in an adoration of reparation, you console My Eucharistic Heart, which burns with love and so desires to fill souls with My tender mercy.

When you are before Me, you are the privileged friends of My Heart, keeping Me company in My loneliness and allowing Me to share with you My sorrows, My grieving over sin, and My designs for a priesthood made pure and radiant with holiness.

When you are before Me, you are with Me a victim of love, handed over and bound to remain at your place before the altar with no desires or plans other than to love, to adore, to make reparation, and to represent all priests in a prayer that is simple, confident, and life-changing.

When you are in adoration before My Eucharistic Face, you are not idle; you are working in a way far more efficacious than any human undertaking can be.  This is your work and it is My work in you.  This is a work that many will criticize and not understand.  You are here in a divinely active collaboration with Me, who from the Sacrament of My love continue My priestly mediation before the Father on behalf of poor sinners.

Never doubt of the value of your hours of adoration.  It is this that I have asked you to do, and I will draw from your presence in the sanctuary a great good and a superabundance of graces for My priests.  Now, by giving Me the better part of the day, you are beginning to realize that for which I called you here, and that for which I set you aside long ago.

O my beloved Jesus, show me how Thou wouldst have me spend this hour in Thy presence.

I leave you free.  You need not do anything.  You need not say anything.  All I desire is that you should be present, focused on My presence, and allowing Me to act in your soul.

I am pleased by every effort, no matter how humble or simple.  I prefer prayers of the humble and simple heart, prayer made without presence, in faith, hope, and in charity.

Learn from My saints.  Study them. Receive their teachings.  Draw inspiration from their friendship with Me.  But do not try to imitate them.  Each of My friends arrives at union with Me by the path traced for her by the Holy Spirit.  Even when two paths may appear similar, know that they are not identical.  All of these paths converge in union with Me, in the light of My Face, and all of them lead to the open door of My Sacred Heart.

Yours is the way of adoration.  I have called you to abide before My Eucharistic Face and to make it possible for others to follow that same vocation.  Even when many souls are called to the same way of life, each soul has its secret love, a way of experiencing My friendship most intimately, that can be shared with no one else.

My love is a personal love.  I love each soul that I have created as if that soul were the only soul in the universe, and I adapt My infinite love to the particular sensibilities and needs of that soul with all wisdom and tenderness of My divine Heart.

Trust in the path that I have opened before you and be faithful to it.  You are the first of a family of Daughters who will grow and flourish in the radiance of My Eucharistic Face.

Allow My love to direct all things.  Remain little and humble.  Prefer to stay in the background, allowing Me to direct and determine the course of events and the growth of this work of Mine.  The more faithful you are to adoring Me in the Sacrament of My love, the more will I be faithful to you in manifesting the wonders of My providence.

Your fatigue and your distractions in adoration are no impediment to My action in the depths of your soul.  I have assure you of this before.  Come before Me and remain before Me even when you feel that your adoration is no more than a struggle and a failure to remain attentive in love and focused on My Eucharistic Face.

Here, your feelings are of no importance.  What matters in My sight is your humility and your willingness to endure distractions, fatigue, and even sleepiness while adoring Me from the heart of your heart.  Know that even when you feel that your adoration has been a waste of time, in My plan it is something fruitful and it is very pleasing to Me.  I do not see things as you see them nor do I measure their value as you measure it.

In Sinu Jesu
Journal of a priest at prayer




Friday, September 22, 2017

Abide in Me, suffer in Me, love in Me


 When I asked Our Lord about my physical weaknesses, my pain, and fatigue:

Accept these things and offer them to the Father in union with My Passion for the sanctification of priests and the healing of those whom you have offended or wounded by your sins.

My beloved Jesus, attach me to Thyself, even as Your Mother and Magdalene were attached to Thee.

Abide in Me, suffer in Me, love in Me, and I will use all that you do and suffer to repair the evil you have done and to bring healing and peace to those whom you have injured.  Trust Me with your past and with its heavy burden of sin; give Me all that you have: the present moment.  Offer the present to Me, and I will attend to repairing your past and to preparing your future.  Your future is to be united with Me eternally in heaven by means of the same love with which you will have loved Me during these remaining years on earth.

Do you not see how much I have been calling you to trust in Me?  Trust is the key that opens all the treasures of My merciful and infinitely loving Heart.  I am touched by a single act of trust in My merciful love more than a multitude of good works.  The soul who trusts Me, by that very fact, removes the obstacles of pride and self-determination that impede my freedom of action.  There is nothing I will not do for the soul who abandons herself to Me in a simple act of trust.

Do Thou in me and through me, O my beloved Jesus,
all that Thou desires to find in me and do through me,
so that, in spite of my miseries, my weaknesses, and even my sins, 
your holy priesthood may be a radiance of Thine,
and the face of priests reflect the merciful love that ever shines 
      on Thy Holy Face
for souls who trust in Thee and abandon themselves 
      to Thy Divine action.

Will you allow Me to suffer in you, to complete in your flesh and in your heart that portion of My Passion reserved for you by My Father from all eternity?  I will send upon you the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, so that you may be able to suffer joyfully and in the peace of a complete submission to all the designs of My Heart upon your life.

I need your sufferings and I ask for them for the renewal of My priesthood in the Church and for the spiritual regeneration of priests weakened by sin and held in bondage to evil.  By your submission to My Father's will and by your humble participation in My Passion, many priests will be healed and purified, and restored to holiness.  Will you give Me your "yes"?  Will you consent to this work of Mine in you and through you?  Trust.

My Jesus, how can I refuse Thee anything?  All my trust is in Thee.  In Thee is all my hope.  I am all Thine, and Thy friendship is my assurance of happiness and of Thy unfailing grace.  I give Thee my heartfelt "yes."  I am all Thine, beloved Jesus: a spiritual mother for Thine own priesthood and a victim with Thee in Thy pure, holy, and spotless oblation to the Father. Amen.

Look to My Eucharistic Face and I will strengthen you in all your sufferings.  You will suffer not as one defeated by the forces of evil, but as one already united to Me in the triumph of My resurrection. I will suffer in you, giving to everything you endure out of love for Me and for My beloved priests a value far exceeding what can be measured in human terms.

My Heart will beat in yours and yours in Mine.  This is the union to which I am leading you.  This is the ultimate meaning of your passage on earth.  I am preparing you now for an eternal union with Me in the glory of heaven.  There you will find the home that I have prepared for you in My love for you even from before the beginning of time.

Your sufferings will be made of weakness and weariness and dependence on others.  I will send you physical sufferings, but I will also strengthen your heart and unite you more and more to Myself in a joy transcending all suffering and in a strength transcending every weakness.  You will be with Me on the altar of the Cross, and your life will become to the eyes of all a continuation and prolongation of My sacrifice on Calvary.  Thus will you be that mother in Jesus Crucified that I have chosen you to be; a mother to the souls of many priests, a mother with a heart pierced like My own Heart, and with an ever-flowing fountain of love for the healing of souls and the sanctification of My priests, my beloved priests.  Do you accept this?

Yes, Lord Jesus, I accept all that Thou proposest.  All my trust is in Thee.  All my confidence is in Thy Heart's friendship for me.

I will always give you strength to adore Me, to come before My Eucharistic Face, and to sing My praises.


adapted from 
In Sinu Jesu
A Journal of a Priest at Prayer











Monday, September 11, 2017

For as long as this earthly exile lasts



Lord, no matter how much I exhaust myself in the pursuit of even that which is good and worthy of effort, it disappears into what seems to be an empty void.  I often experience myself and my life bereft of meaning; mentally and physically devoid of strength.  Sacrifices once seemingly made with love now leave me bitter.  Friendships that once buoyed me up and counsel once valued have faded and I slip into a self-imposed isolation.  A life full of bright promise and hope has now turned grey.

Daughter, make Me the object of all your desires and you will never be disappointed.  Seek Me and you will find Me.  Ask for the grace of My presence in the sanctuary of your soul and there hold conversation with Me, for I am in you, and you are in Me.  I am your life, and apart from Me, all that this earthly life offers you is bitter and unable to satisfy your heart.  I have created you and called you to live in My friendship and to long for Me on earth until that longing is satisfied in heaven.

In the meantime, for as long as your earthly exile lasts, you have Me in the Sacrament of My love.  There you have My Heart; there you can contemplate My Face; there you can hear My voice; there you can enjoy My friendship and live in My presence.  I was no more really present to My Apostles than I am to you at this moment in the Sacrament of My love.  Do you believe this?

Yes, Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief.  For it too has weakened.  The efficacy of my time before you I doubt and at times my gaze feels empty and to no purpose.  I would even say that my time before you is painful and any initiative lacking.  All seems forced.  My presence can only be an affront when my coldness meets the warmth of Your Love.  

I will strengthen your faith in My real presence and make it so strong that the rest of your life will rest upon it as a solid rock.  I am making you the adorer of My Eucharistic Face that I have so long desired.  Allow Me to form you, to shape you, to purify and to illumine you in preparation for the work that I have given you to do for My priests.  For this to happen, you have only to abide in My presence.  The work of adoration is also, and first of all, My work in you.  When you are before My Eucharistic Face and so close to My Heart, I am acting in you and acting upon you.  Your whole being is subject to My divine influence when you present yourself before Me to adore Me.

This, Daughter of St. Philip Neri, is why I so insist on adoration for you.  It is the crucible of your perfection.  It is the furnace of love in which I purify you like gold in the fire.  It is the nuptial chamber in which I draw you to My Heart, and to speak to you face-to-face, as a bridegroom to his bride, and as man to a friend.  The nuptial bond of the Daughter with Me pertains to the relationship between My divinity and the Daughter's soul.  My humanity offers you a divine friendship, but that friendship leads to union of the soul with My divinity and to a fruitfulness that surpasses every action and work of a soul working on her own initiative.

Consent to this friendship and I will espouse your soul.  Thus will you be Mine in a way that exceeds every purely human notion of union, even the union between two souls in the purest charity.  I created your soul for these espousals with My divinity, and your soul will have failed to attain that for which I created it, and that for which I destine you, unless you allow Me to love you and to purify you and to unite Me to yourself, not only as Friend to friend, but also as the One and Thrice Holy God to His beloved creature.  I am one with My Father and with the Holy Spirit, and when I love a soul and espouse a soul to Myself, that soul is also united and espoused to the Father and to the Holy Spirit.  Here, "espoused" is but a human word.  These mystical espousals have about them nothing carnal or material.  I speak of the union of the soul with her God, the realization of that for which she was created, and the fulfillment of her truest longings.

I fear being deluded or of falling prey to my own imagination.  Why should I dare to hope for such a thing or desire such an intimate love?  What could I offer in return?

Why should I not hold conversation with you who are the friend of My Heart?  I speak in this way to many souls but not all recognize My voice, and very few welcome My conversation and receive My friendship as the freely given gift it is.  It is My delight to hold conversation with those whom I love. Understand this: I hold conversation with you because I love you with an infinitely merciful and tender love and because I set My Heart upon you long ago to make you entirely My own.

When the enemy who hates Me and who hates all whom I love saw that My love was preparing you for union with Myself, he set about corrupting you by every means at his disposal.  Many things happened that put you at risk and threatened the fulfillment of My plan for you.

All of this has been going on, visibly and invisibly, for so many years, but now I have led you into the harbor of peace and of holiness that I have prepared for you.  This life of adoration is your harbor of salvation, just as it will be a harbor of salvation for many priests who risk being shipwrecked in the stormy waters of lives stirred up by sin and darkened by the shadows of evil.  Thank Me that I have brought you here, and now begin to love Me more, desiring Me and choosing My love over all else.  You are Mine.


adapted from
In Sinu Jesus
The Journal of a Priest at Prayer







  

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Your hidden but beautiful vocation

Dear Daughters of St. Philip Neri,

Do not be disturbed by or feel that there is anything lacking because of the hiddenness of what you have been called to do.  There is a simplicity that the Lord desires from you.  He has not called you to enter or found a community.  Rather, He has called you to draw close to and enter His Eucharistic Heart and to offer Him your heart in trust and faith.  Worry not about projects or ideals, but rather understand that He wants you to live for Him alone and allow Him to act freely in your lives.  This free and hidden offering of yourself is what He desires.  Offer Him all your love - for in Him you will have everything!  Remain faithful to Adoration for this delights and consoles Him and understand that it is this adoration that allows Him to reach His priests most fully, even the most hardened of souls.  This is your "primary ministry" to His priests.  Adoration is the most efficacious way of reaching them - remain faithful to this and they will be the source of your eternal joy and thanksgiving!

I have not asked you to found a community, but rather to adore Me, to love Me, to seek My Eucharistic Face and draw near to My Eucharistic Heart. I have asked you to trust Me and to place in Me alone all your hope and all your dreams for happiness and peace.  Seek Me, trust Me, and all the rest will be give you besides.  You have only to remain humble and little and faithful.  Without Me, you can nothing, but to Me, nothing is impossible.

Be faithful, then, to Me, not to a project or an ideal.  I am your all.  Live for me alone.  Seek Me. Seek My Face. Take comfort close to My broken Heart.  See how I love you, even to the piercing of My Heart by the soldier's lance, even to the last drops of blood and water.  There is nothing I will not do for you, and this because I love you and because you are Mine.  Only allow Me to act freely, choosing the means, and the day, and the hour.

Here in the Sacrament of My love, you have everything.  Here you have all of Heaven.  Here you have the Creator of the earth and all that it holds, and of every human being who has ever seen the light of day.  I am all yours.  Be all Mine.  Ask Me to unite you more and more to Myself, until you are completely hidden in the secret of My Face.

I am delighted and consoled by your presence close to Me.  This is what I asked of you, and you responded to the pleas of My Heart.  Above all things, remain faithful to your times of adoration.  Invisibly and imperceptibly I am at work in your soul and in the souls of the priests you represent before My Eucharistic Face.  Your adoring presence before Me permits Me to reach them, and to touch even those whose hearts are hardened against Me.  This is your primary ministry to My priests. So long as you remain faithful to this vocation of adoration, reparation and representation of your priests in the sight of My Eucharistic Face, I will bless you and pour out upon you the treasure of mercy reserved for you in My Sacred Heart.

To be sure, there are many ways of reaching out to My priests and of ministering to them, but of all these, Eucharistic adoration is the most efficacious and the most fruitful.  Already My priests are experiencing the effect of your presence to Me in the Sacrament of My love.  Remain faithful to this, and I will save and sanctify a great number of priests.  In heaven they will be for you an eternal source of joy and of thanksgiving.


In Sinu Jesu
Journal of a Priest at Prayer





Saturday, August 26, 2017

When you pray for any soul . . . desire only what I desire



Dear Daughters of St. Philip Neri,

As you dedicate yourself to Spiritual Motherhood and commit yourself to prayer on behalf of priests, it is important that you approach this labor both with love and humility.  Let your love for Christ compel you to pray and lead you to the Eucharist.  Let humility guide and direct you in that prayer.  Set your own designs aside and seek only the will and desire of God for His priests.  

Despite the Lord's desire for their sanctification, many priests resist the action of His grace and turn away from the path of holiness He sets before them.  Pray that their fear and self-absorption may be overcome.  God overcomes every weakness and indeed works through the poor and prayerful priest most powerfully.  The fruit of their labors depends nothing upon talents or natural abilities.  It is not through worldly success that the priesthood will be renewed.  The Lord has reserved special graces for those He calls to be His priests and victims.  He will change and renew the face of the priesthood by the transforming light of His Eucharistic Face.

When you pray for any soul, begin by uniting yourself wholly to My perfect will for that soul and by entering into all the designs of My Heart on that soul.  Desire only what I desire.  Will what I will.  Let your prayer be a way of harnessing yourself to Me so that we might work together for souls and for My Father's glory.  This is what I meant when I called My dear friends to take My yoke upon them.  I wanted them to learn to labor with Me.

By the prayer of adoration for My priests, you are working with Me for them.  You are working with Me to lift them when they fall, to bind up their wounds, to deliver them from bondage to evil, to open them to My gifts, and to obtain for them a greater openness to the sanctifying action of the Holy Spirit.

Your union with Me in prayer lessens the resistance of many priests to entering resolutely upon the path of holiness that I am opening before them.  When you represent My priests before My Eucharistic Face, you are obtaining graces for them, but also the grace to accept those graces that I long to bestow upon them.  So much of what I long to give to My priests his refused because they are unable to move beyond their fears and their self-absorption.

I would work marvels in even place on earth through the ministry of My priests if they would accept the graces that I hold in reserve for them.  I would first purify and sanctify them, and then, by means of their sacred ministry, purify and sanctify a great multitude of souls, so as to make them an offering of praise and thanksgiving to the glory of My Father.

Why do My priests refuse the gifts that I would lavish upon them?  Many are self-sufficient, relying on their natural abilities and talents, and thinking that these natural gifts are sufficient for the success of their ministry.  But their idea of success is not Mine.   And the means that they would take are not Mine.  And I have no need of their natural abilities and talents.  I can do more with one poor priest who, like the Cure of Ars, is humble and utterly united to Me by ceaseless prayer, than I can with a priest who astounds the world with his knowledge and presents himself brilliantly in the sight of men.

When I find a priest who is open to My gifts, I lavish these gifts upon him.  Nothing is lacking to the priest who comes before Me in his poverty, and even in his sins, provided that he give Me his poverty and entrust Me with his sins, and expose all his weaknesses to the transforming light of My Eucharistic Face.

This is what I ask you to do for all my priests.  I am about to renew My priesthood in the whole Church.  I will purify the sons of Levi in fulfillment of the ancient prophecy, not those of a physical priestly lineage, but those who have taken the place of the former priesthood, and who are one with Me in the everlasting priesthood of the Order of Melchisedek.  I will change the face of the priesthood and make it resplendent with the light reflected from My Eucharistic Face.

In Sinu Jesu
A Journal of a Priest at Prayer





Sunday, August 20, 2017

A priest's terrible responsibility towards the Eucharist



Woe to the world without this pure, holy and immaculate victim, constantly sacrificed on the altar for its atonement and purification!

Woe to the souls that do not have Jesus Christ in the tabernacle!  Poor me! if I do not have that consecrated Host that is my life, my strength, my only love and desire, my only joy and happiness.  If I could only give my blood right down to the last drop for the beloved Church, for the doctrine that is scorned, for so much grace that is wasted and trampled on.  Jesus, Jesus!  Your ministers are sometimes the first to more or less see this liquid treasure spilled out from your very heart!

Oh my God, let me weep for this great misfortune with tears from my soul!  They treat you, Lord, and your divine Sacraments with such a lack of respect, with such impure hearts and hands!  How can you allow this to happen, Lord, how can you suffer it in such profound silence?  Faith, Lord, faith!  Shed your divine light on those minds that have been darkened by . . . shall I say it? (a hidden force makes me say it clearly!), darkened by vice . . . and you suffer, Lord, in the silence of the tabernacle you weep at the insults, at the loss of those poor souls.

Mercy, Lord, have mercy!  I can see, Father, although I do not know how, the terrible judgment awaiting those priests who neither receive nor give the precious blood of Jesus Christ as they should . . . who do not work at their own holiness, in order to fruitfully sow the divine seed in hearts.  The priests who live in the Church of the Lord like parasites have an enormous responsibility . . . I can feel the profound complaints of the divine Heart about this, something that deeply deeply hurts him!

If only with my blood and with my life, with my crucifixion, I could alleviate the pain of this divine Heart so maltreated by his own!  My soul is in pain, Father, and I wish to be a victim.  I want to suffer, and belonging entirely to God, I want to sacrifice myself for the holy and pure Church, where he has put his heavenly riches.


I need worthy and pure priests as victims, I mean, just as you saw me, pure white and constantly yearning for the sacrifice.  I would gladly join them to myself in the sacrifice of the altar, offering both of us at the same time for the salvation of the world.

Yes, daughter, you should know this.  I am constantly entering into impure souls, a terrible crime that will be punished by my justice with torture!  This is a fairly constant thing too in my priests, who should be pure, chosen and clean vessels not only to receive me but to keep me in them consoling me and giving me to console with sacrifices of love.

The priest brings about on the altar, daughter, an exact copy of the Incarnation of the Word.  It is as if, with the words of the Consecration, he creates, that is, gives life (this is the divine virtue inherent in those words) to a Being, a Being that is both divine and human, called God and man, the Word made flesh, your Jesus.  The priest does not and cannot give life to God, because God is Life.  He does not and cannot give life to the God-Man, because He lives and will live eternally glorified.  Rather he transmits that divine and human life into the substance of the bread and the substance of the wine, bringing about the transubstantiation by the power of his words, so that what was before just bread and wine, after those holy words pronounced by the priest becomes the substance of my body and blood that was shed on Calvary . . .  .

When the priest takes the divine words of the Consecration on his lips, words born of Love, from an Excessive Love of the Word God Made Flesh, he has in them the substance of creation, and shortly afterwards he holds in his hands, I mean immediately after the words are pronounced, the substance of redemption, sacrificing me . . .  .

Oh daughter! the priestly ministry is so sublime, and the bodies and souls of those who perform it should be so HOLY . . .  .

These most remarkable texts (adapted for the Daughters of St. Philip Neri) about the Eucharist, the experience of a Mystical Incarnation, and a participation in Mary's Spiritual Motherhood to Priest were written by a Mexican woman, who was married, had children and then became a widow - Concepcion Cabera de Armida.  She passionately loved Jesus in the Holy Sacrament, to such a point that he became the center of her life. The heart will become warm again from contact with the fire of these writings, and will be cured of the indifference and the thoughtlessness with which the world of today treats the Eucharist.  She lived in a time of violent religious persecution and a markedly anti-Christin revolution.  May she be the spiritual mother of those who read this reflection, converting them into worshippers who seek the Father, "real worshippers who worship the Father in the spirit and in truth."  May she guide them from a love of the Lord in the Eucharist to a love for His priests and desire for their conversion.

Monday, August 14, 2017

Your priestly mission and shared spiritual motherhood with Mary


"Your role is that of a Mass mystically continued, and such should be the role of the Daughters of St. Philip Neri, to continue the offering, offering me to the Father, and offering themselves with me . . .  . So many forget me, daughter!  So many offend me!  But the mission of the Daughters of St. Philip Neri is to repair this forgetfulness in union with Mary, consoling me, remembering me, but in the way I have told you.

You see, I am hurt more by forgetfulness than by the world's offenses, because I am forgotten by my own people, and this deeply wounds my sensitive Heart.

Do not forget me, and may your people not forget me, because forgetting implies ingratitude, and this is the worst thorn in my Heart.  

Remember me by offering me, because if you remember me you remember the Father; you will remember both of us together.

If only you could see how much forgetfulness there is of my Divine Person and of my graces among my own people.

And so, during the hours of these crucifying Masses will my soul be ceaseless loving and consoling you day and night, covering you with tenderness and caressing you, repairing with you the offenses suffered by your heavenly Father?

Yes, Daughter, for yours is a priestly mission, and together with Mary you will know not only how to console me but also to save them.  Does your soul not desire to love me endlessly?  Today I am placing in your soul this means of glorifying me, atoning with love . . .  . Love, as I have told you, is the great atonement, the great repairer, and what is there that cannot be accomplished by maternal love?

Lord, would you like to explain to me how my soul can be present at ever Mass, as you told me yesterday?

It is very simple.  Inasmuch as you are transformed into me, wherever I am, you are, and wherever you are, I am, because of this unifying union that makes one out of two.

You will be in the Masses together with Mary through the reflection of the divine motherhood, by reason of the Mystical Incarnation in your soul and as a fortunate result of this grace.

You will be there with your will, a power superior to the soul, which together with mine forms just one desire with mine.

You will be present through love, which is everywhere and bridges all distances, which climbs up to heaven and reaches the infinite bosom of God, who is One and yet many.

You will be present, because this is my Will, and that is sufficient.

But apart from this, My intention is that your mind will never be separated from me, as far as this is possible, that your memory will always be with me, that your tenderness and consolation of Love continue in your soul and that I will never be without them.  My intention is that your soul be joined together with that of Mary, as a sign of your union with her, fulfilling your mission on the altars.

You already know your mission - it consists of adoring, atoning, and consoling my Heart, obtaining graces for priests glorifying me.

Father, can you see what I feel?  Can it be that Jesus' words are being fulfilled?  I can feel my soul present at Mass all over the world, in intimate and constant remembrance of Jesus.  It is not just a normal remembrance, but a memory of life - a living and intimate remembrance, as if the remembrance of him who calls me and my own remembrance that follows him met on the way.

It is a memory of possession - I have it and I want to have it.  It is as if the memory were his image, as if it were he himself, and day and night I think of the altar on which he is constantly sacrificed, and I see myself next to him, offering him up with Mary.  His memory is he himself for me; it is both possession and union.

My love for Mary is also growing day by day, as if her perfection and virtue were illuminating me, as if she were drawing me to herself with trust, and I do not run away at the point of shame because of the Mystical Incarnation, but rather I fall into her arms, asking her for her lessons of love.

This is your role, to be present with your soul together with my Mother at Mass . . .  . Does your soul not sigh and weep when you see insulting and sacrilegious Masses, even though your body is not there?

This place on the altar belongs to you because of this maternal detail, because, Daughter, Mary's Son is also your Son, the Son of your heart, the one who is crucified on the altar by both worthy and unworthy priests, and your motherly soul has to be present to weep and to suffer, to love and console, or to be joyful when the Immaculate Lamb is offered to the Father by pure hands.

My sacrifice would not be complete without my Mother's heart, because of Mary's motherhood.  She completed my Passion, and she keeps on carrying out her role as co-redemptrix.

The Church, together with its priests and its faithful, should continue my Passion on earth.

The favor I have bestowed on you with is very great - joining you to Mary in a special way . . .  .

At night I felt a painful sorrow inside, and I remembered him offended in so many Masses.  Jesus came without my asking him, and he told me this, "You see, spiritual motherhood obtains grace, since its intercession, because of its divine origin, is more powerful.

God gives himself continuously, and motherly souls should also give themselves.  But where do they receive if not from the eternal Fountain of all graces?

This is why their spirits have to be joined like the branches to the Vine.

But that is my role on earth, the mission of a Man-God's most purified love, to live constantly on earth as a sacrifice on the altars reliving the Passion of Calvary, to enable them to reach heaven.

The sacrifice of the Cross on the altar was enough, but the cruelty of my wicked priests has led me to another Calvary on the altar - another sacrifice, another Passion, double martyrdom with the sacrilege they impose on me, a double Cross on which they doubly sacrifice me, on which they challenge heaven and my very Person, not only laden with their sins but as if I were the actual criminal.

And what happens next?  Mary comes in between her two sons, interceding to heaven and obtaining forgiveness, sacrificing her only Son with this delicate motherly martyrdom.

And this concerns you and all motherly souls.  They alone have this privilege.  The Father listens to them and they appease him, because there is a holy thread of fruitfulness in those same motherly souls (because of the Mystical Incarnation), and this is wherein the secret of their power for intercession lies, because in a way God sees God in them, the Father sees the Father, from the same holy thread of motherhood received from the Father.

But sacrificing the holy and pure Son is martyrdom, Jesus of my soul, in order to obtain forgiveness for the other guilty and pitiless son, who dares to be you, and together with you to offend your Father.

But once again, this is my role, the role of the sacrificed lamb, and your role and Mary's is the one of motherly martyrdom, offering up in the same way as the Father the Divine Son to be crucified, but with this unheard-of difference.

My enemies did not know what they were doing on Calvary, but my wicked priests crucify me twice on the altar, fully aware of their betrayal and shamelessness, and they martyr me with a double martyrdom, the martyrdom of seeing myself in them, a criminal before my Father, and the martyrdom of drinking from the chalice of their condemnation, a very delicate and painful martyrdom for my soul that loves them so much.

And this double martyrdom also implies a double love, the love that you should have on the altar, the tremendous pain of seeing me doubly sacrificed by my wicked priests, and the awful torture of seeing the treacherous priest condemned in life.  Rather than with a kiss, he betrays me to such terrible suffering and a double pain, the pain of seeing myself offending my Father in the priest, together with what he most loves, his own Son, who only wants endless worship for him, and the pain of seeing the Savior of the world as a reproach to the priest until he is washed with contrition, that is, with my blood, the same blood that he has drunk sacrilegiously.

Can you see your role more clearly now on many of my altars?


These most remarkable texts (adapted for the Daughters of St. Philip Neri) about the Eucharist, the experience of a Mystical Incarnation, and a participation in Mary's Spiritual Motherhood to Priest were written by a Mexican woman, who was married, had children and then became a widow - Concepcion Cabera de Armida.  She passionately loved Jesus in the Holy Sacrament, to such a point that he became the center of her life. The heart will become warm again from contact with the fire of these writings, and will be cured of the indifference and the thoughtlessness with which the world of today treats the Eucharist.  She lived in a time of violent religious persecution and a markedly anti-Christin revolution.  May she be the spiritual mother of those who read this reflection, converting them into worshippers who seek the Father, "real worshippers who worship the Father in the spirit and in truth."  May she guide them from a love of the Lord in the Eucharist to a love for His priests and desire for their conversion.


Thursday, August 10, 2017

Priestly souls depend on your fidelity



Dear Daughters of St. Philip Neri,

The path has been set before you and offers you rest and healing.  However, you must commit to abide with Me along this path and to remain there as long as you can.  Do not compromise the immense grace that is offered to you by holding on to other things.  You are a Daughter of St. Philip and the renewal of many priestly souls depends upon your fidelity to this call.  Their healing and sanctification depends upon the love you have for them and your fidelity to adoration.  At times you may feel isolated but you are not alone.  There are many I have called to this life of adoration and reparation.  Do not be afraid; grace has been given for all I have called you to do.

The path I have traced before you is the path of adoration.  Walk this path in the light of My Eucharistic Face and you will see that it leads straight into My open Heart.  This is the very path that I would set before all My priests.  I want them to walk in the light of My Face, forsaking all darkness, and desiring nothing so much as to rest within My sacred side.

My pierced Heart is the wellspring of purity, healing, and of holiness.  How much I want to draw you to My open Heart in the Sacrament of My love!  It is enough for you to come to Me, even if you are weary and without words or affectionate thoughts..  By the simple act of coming to Me, you demonstrate your love for Me and your desire for My healing and purifying action in your souls and the souls of priests.

You must learn to remain in My presence, to abide there for as long as you can, for this is the very essence of the life to which I have called you.  When you forsake Me for other things, you are compromising the immense grace I have given you in bringing you here to be an adorer of My Eucharistic Face.  The healing and purification  of many priestly souls depends on your fidelity to this call to adoration and reparation.  I have charged you with a grave responsibility for the healing of priests and for the return of many of them to My open Heart.  Their healing and sanctification depends on the love you have for them and on the expression of that love by fidelity to adoration.  I have elected to associate you to Myself and to My most holy Mother in this work.  You are not alone. There are many other souls whom I have called to this life of adoration and reparation for My beloved priests.  But you have your part to play in this design of My merciful love and no one can fulfill this part except you.You see, then, that I count on you.  But do not be afraid.  I will give you the grace to be faithful to all that I have asked of you.  It is not you who will do great things for My priests, but rather Me living in you as in another humanity marked by My priesthood, another humanity in which I can offer Myself to the Father and pour Myself out for souls.

adapted from:
In Sinu Jesu
A Journal of a Priest at Prayer
A Benedictine Priest


Monday, August 7, 2017

You will not be disappointed in coming to me



Sometimes I fear that it is all an illusion; that You could call one like me to Spiritual Motherhood - to care for Your priests.  I know my past, my wantonness; how I ignored You seeking my own way and my own pleasures.  I, myself, had no love for you and now You call me?  And even if You should be, my heart trembles at the notion.  What will my life become?  Will it be recognizable?  The very thought of living for you thrills my soul but also fills it with fear.  I know my own selfishness, how easily I turn my thoughts to the things of the world, how weak my constitution is and how averse I am to discipline and simplicity.  Even as I have tried, I draw back from completely giving myself to you.  I linger in past memories, nay cling to them, almost hoping that a more comforting love will emerge, one that seems more tangible.  My mind gravitates to distractions, to entertainment, to work - anything to hold me back from letting go - anything to keep me from say yes. . .  .

I want you to live in silence and adoration.

Spend less time at the computer and more time in My presence.  I wait for you here.  I long to see you before Me.  I want to give you all the signs of My friendship that My Heart has destined for you and for no other, but for this you must come to Me.  Follow the promptings of My grace.

There is no need for you to grow anxious or fearful.  I will continue speaking to you so long as you come before Me with a quiet and trusting heart.  I still have much to teach you.  I want to form you in purity, in charity, in mercy towards the priests in your care, and in the ceaseless adoration that I desire from you.

Wait upon Me.  Come to Me.  Open to your heart to Me and I will open My Heart to you.

This is one of My most poignant sufferings; that I should encounter hearts that are closed to Me, even among My beloved priests, the friends whom I have chosen for myself.  How can I have friendship with one who closes his heart to Me, who flees My presence, who cannot bear to be silent, still and alone with Me and for Me?

Even for you this remains a struggle.  There are so many lesser things that pull you away, that eat up your time, and that are stumbling blocks in the path of your coming to be with Me.  Learn to  recognize these obstacles for what they are.  Some of them are your own doing; others are the work of the Evil One; still others come from the ordinary cares of life in a world that has forgotten how to be still in My presence.  Do not let yourself be stopped by any of these things.  Learn to come to Me quickly, generously, and gladly.  I wait for you in the Sacrament of My love, and you will not be disappointed in coming to Me.  This is really all I ask of souls, and especially my priests and you My Daughters - that you come to Me.  And I will do the rest.

adapted from:
In Sinu Jesu
Journal of a Priest at Prayer



Sunday, August 6, 2017

The groan of this exhausted soul



My life weighs so heavily - stifling - leaving me unable to think clearly.  Lord I have lost sight of you behind my anxieties that loom so large.  I am preoccupied with all the worldly cares that rush upon me relentlessly, without concern for the weakness of my body and the emotional toll of the years. The measure of my faith seems so thin: I question its very existence.  Whereas the breadth and depth of my self-pity has grown so powerful that even the smallest of things feels as though it would crush me.  I hesitate to bring it before you; the shame of my sensitivity that has made every nerve attuned to the slightest pain and discomfort would make me hide myself if I could - from You, from the world.  Let the groan of this exhausted soul, to tired for tears, be heard as a prayer.  Do not turn away from me, O Lord.

I am here - really present - available to you at any hour of the day or night.  I wait for you.  I want to listen to the cares and preoccupations that you carry like a heavy burden.  Give them all to Me.  Trust in Me and I will act.  I have told you this before: for Me nothing is insignificant.  No detail of your life is too small and no sin of yours too shameful to be brought to Me and to be abandoned at My feet.  Yet, this is how My saints acted.  They were certain  that any difficulty entrusted to My Heart would find there the best of all possible solutions.  Tell Me that you trust in My merciful love by letting go of the things that burden and oppress you.  I am the Lord of all things in heaven and on earth, and to Me nothing is impossible.

In Sinu Jesu
When Heart Speaks to Heart
A Benedictine Monk


Friday, June 16, 2017

Let your "Yes" mean "Yes"




Dear Daughters of St. Philip Neri,

Know that your commitment(though hidden) to the Lord and to your spiritual sons is beautiful in the eyes of the Lord.  You must embrace this hiddenness and not be frightened of it; for even though you are not seen by the world and perhaps cannot at times see the value of this commitment, you are seen by the Lord.  Fix your gaze upon Him and know that He fixes His gaze upon you.  

To embrace such hiddenness means to let go of all preoccupation with yourself and the opinions of others; ego and self-esteem must diminish as you put on the mind of Christ and as you hide yourself more and more in Him.  Consent to be hidden in the tabernacle, to embrace your Lord's Eucharistic life.  Be the presence of love hidden in a world absent of love.  Simplify your life: "withdraw from all that solicits your attention, your energy, and your time."

To each of you the Lord asks: "Do you want this?"  And each of you must answer from your hearts: "Yes, I accept the hidden Eucharistic life to which thou callest me."  Let your "Yes" mean "Yes" daughters and you shall know the Lord's consent.  As with your father St. Philip Neri, the Lord will fill your hearts with a joy not known in this world but invincible and a foretaste of the sweetness of Heaven.  


I am a hidden God
and those whom I call to adore Me
must hide themselves in Me,
becoming hidden from the eyes of the world,
and hidden even from themselves,
having a pure gaze fixed upon Me alone,
even as My pure filial gaze is fixed upon My Father in heaven.
Learn what it means to be hidden:
it is to be free of preoccupations with yourself,
with the opinions of others,
and with what the world may say
of you or of Me.
It is to live for Me alone
even as I live for the Father.
Hide yourself in Me
as I am hidden in the glory of My Father.
Hide yourself in Me
as I am hidden in the bright cloud of the Holy Spirit.
Hide yourself in Me
as I am hidden in the sacred species.
Hide yourself in My Heart
as I am hidden in the tabernacles of the world,
unseen, unknown, and forgotten by men.
I call you to this hidden life
because I am the hidden God
and because My Eucharistic life in your midst is a hidden life.
Those who would be My adorers
must consent to live in My tabernacle hidden with Me
and, at the same time,
loving as I love:
loving the Father as I love Him,
loving souls as I love them,
suffering coldness, rejection, misunderstanding
and abandonment
with Me and for Me.
Understand these things
and you will have begun to understand the Eucharistic life
to which I call you more and more.
Apart from those souls
whom I call to this life of adoration,
such a hiddenness will appear foolish and inhuman,
but it will act as a leaven upon the whole mass of dough
until it rises and becomes a perfect loaf fit for My oblation.
It is a spark of light being kept burning
for a world plunged into darkness.
It is a drop of divine sweetness
in a sea of bitterness and misery.
It is a presence  of Love
in a world from which love is absent.
Love My hiddenness
and hide yourself in Me.
Withdraw from all that solicits your attention,
your energy, and your time
into the secret of My Eucharistic Face.
There I will show  you
how best to do the things I ask you to do.
There I will give you a peace
that no one will perturb or take from you.
There I will use you
for the sanctification of My priests
and for the consolation of My Church.
Do you want this?
Yes, Lord Jesus,
because Thou askest this of Me.
I consent to it with all My heart
and I want all that Thou willest for Me.
Do you accept to be separated from those whom you love,
from those who know you
and from those who love you
in order to lose all save Me and My love?
Yes, Lord Jesus,
I consent to lose all save Thee
for in possessing Thee
I will lose nothing,
and in loving Thee
I will be loved by Thee,
and in that Love find perfect happiness
and the grace to love others
as Thou hast loved Me.
Do you accept to disappear from the eyes of the world
and to live hidden in Me
as I am hidden in My tabernacles?
Yes, Lord Jesus,
I accept the hidden Eucharistic life
to which Thou callest Me
and I desire nothing else.
Know then that today
I accept your “Yes” to My plans for you.
Because you have given your consent to Me,
I give My consent to you.
Live henceforth as My adorer
hidden in Me,
hidden with Me.
Seek no other way of life.
Your life is henceforth hidden with Me
in the Sacrament of My Love
and in the glory of the Father.
I promise you joy in the secret of My Face
and an unending sweetness
that is the taste of the Hidden Manna,
a sweetness not of this world,
but of the next,
a sweetness that I give as a foretaste of heaven
to those who drink the bitter chalice
of My Eucharistic solitudes on earth.
This is the perfection of the life to which I have called you.
The time is short.
Enter into the life I have prepared for you.
Let go of all else.
Our life is one:
your life in Me, and My life in you,
in a mystery of hiddenness
that glorifies My Father
and builds up My Church.

This reflection comes from Dom Kirby's blog Vultus Christi to which the Daughters of St. Philip are deeply indebted.  In particular, the recent publication of In Sinu Jesus has been a constant source of inspiration and guidance. 


Thursday, May 11, 2017

Holiness through Adoration



Dear Daughters of St. Philip Neri,

As you have renewed your commitment to daily Eucharistic Adoration and Reparation for the Sanctification of Priests, its seems fitting that we should reflect upon an entry from In Sinu Jesu, The Journal of a Priest. Nowhere is your vocation more clearly expressed than Christ speaking "Cor ad Cor" with those he has drawn to Himself and called to linger long with Him in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. Throughout these past years you have seen the nature and demands of your commitment and the path to holiness grow more and more simple: Holiness through Adoration.  Silent and still, you are called to draw close to Christ, gazing upon His Eucharistic Face - loving Him and receiving His love.  You had only to ask for this gift and you have indeed requested it through expressing your commitment.  In the act, in the self-offering, the grace is given.  This is why Christ can say to you "this is not difficult."  Its austerity is found only in that the commitment to come before Him rest upon faith alone. Out of that faith arises a flame of hope set to blaze by a fire that burns within His Eucharistic Heart and which He continues to desire to let loose upon the world.
Fear not this fire Daughters; for it seeks not to annihilate or destroy but purify and transform. Adoration is the furnace and He will forge your hearts anew according to His Divine Love.  Through your commitment to Adoration on behalf of priests, God will purge all impurity and darkness from your hearts and theirs.  God has set you apart for this purpose - to enter into Mary's Spiritual Motherhood - to nurture in your hearts and prayers the renewal of the holy priesthood. 
  
The practice of adoration is not difficult.
It is a gentle abiding in My presence,
a resting in the radiance of My Eucharistic Face,
a closeness to My Eucharistic Heart.
Words, though sometimes helpful, are not necessary,
nor are thoughts.
What I seek from one who would adore Me in spirit and in truth
is a heart aflame with love,
a heart content to abide in my presence,
silent and still,
engaged only in the act of loving Me
and of receiving My love.
Though this is not difficult,
it is, all the same,
my own gift
to the soul who asks for it.
Ask, then, for the gift of adoration.
Adoration is an austere prayer
because it rests upon faith alone.
Out of faith there rises the pure flame of hope,
and out of the flame of hope,
I enkindle in the soul a great conflagration of charity;
that is, a communication to the soul
of the fire that blazes in My Eucharistic Heart.
The fire of Divine Love does not destroy what I created:
a soul fashioned in My image and likeness.
It purifies that soul
and burns away only what is incompatible with My infinite holiness,
and with the purity of My Essence.
The soul, however, is not annihilated.
The soul remains,
even in the midst of the purifying flames of Divine Love,
fully capable of believing, of hoping, and of loving Me.
Adoration is a furnace and a forge.
The soul called to a life of adoration
must expect to suffer the intensity of the fiery furnace,
and the reshaping of all that is misshapen in her
in the forge of My Divine Will.
For this to happen,
it is enough that the soul offer herself to My love,
and remain humble, peaceful, and quiet
as I purify and transform her in My presence.
If only souls knew the power to purify and to transform
that emanates from My tabernacles!
If only My priests knew this
they would hasten into My presence
and remain there,
waiting for Me to do in them
what, of themselves, they cannot do.
It is the simple prayer of adoration
that renders a priest fit for the sacred ministry
by giving him a pure heart
and by correcting all that is incompatible with My Divine Holiness
and with My Priestly Love in his life.
This way of holiness through adoration
is a secret revealed to My saints in ages past,
and it is a gift that I am offering My priests
in these times of impurity, persecution, and darkness.
For impurity,
I will give them a shining purity
that will blaze before the eyes of the world
as a testimony to Divine Love.
For persecution
I will give them a manly strength and a resoluteness of purpose
that will confound those who plot their downfall.
For darkness
I will give them a clear light by which to order their steps
and see what choices are pleasing to My Heart.
Time spent in My presence is not time wasted.
It is the ground and support
of every word spoken by My priests in the exercise of their ministry;
it is the secret of a priestly action that is supernaturally fruitful,
bearing fruit that will last.
If this is true of the priests whom I have chosen
to labour in the vineyard of My Church,
how much more must it be true of [those]
whom I have chosen and set apart
to live cloistered in the Cenacle
with My Most Holy Mother and with Saint John, My Beloved Disciple.
John was most at home in My Eucharistic presence
and in the company of My Mother.
John understood better
and more than the other Apostles
the mysteries that I instituted in the Cenacle
on the night before I suffered.
John was the first of a long line of Eucharistic priests
called to love Me and abide in My Eucharistic presence,
close to My Heart, and in the radiance of My Face.
This is the particular grace that Saint John would share
with those who, responding to My call,
will find their way to the Cenacle of adoration
that I am bringing to birth
as a living organism within My Church,
enlivened by the Holy Spirit
and formed in the Heart of My Immaculate Mother.
From In Sinu Iesu, The Journal of a Priest


Tuesday, March 14, 2017

The Prayer that is the Terror of Demons


Dear Daughters of St. Philip Neri,

The profundity of the work that God has called you to may seem eclipsed by the work that is emphasized in the world and even within the Church.  Yet, what the Lord calls you to, though a work hidden from the eyes of all, is something that emerges from the desire of His own Heart.  He calls you to participate in His Eucharistic work through inviting you to make reparation through adoration.  He desires that you comfort Him by abiding in His presence and resting close to His Heart; to choose to remain with Him - nay, to prefer to remain with Him above everything.  

What is obtained by coming to Him by night?  Nothing less He tells us than the liberation of souls.  To do battle with the powers of darkness for the world by remaining with Him in prayer late into the night or before daybreak.  "More souls are saved and liberated by adoration made during the night than by any other form of prayer."  It is to come to Him as He went to the Father in prayer at night.  It is to remain with Him even though darkness seems to prevail not only in nature but in the world.  As He poured Himself out to the Father so you can pour yourself out with the same expression of love and ascent of the will.  Such self-emptying adoration conquers the world and heals the wounds inflicted by demons on souls.  Prepare yourselves then daughters - for the demons both fear and hate such love.  Fear not, however, for angels will minister to you as they did to the Lord.

All else is of secondary importance.  What could be of greater importance than to attend to His body broken and His blood poured out for love of the world?  What could you be more anxious to do than to spend your energy and attention consoling unrequited love?  What more precious thing could one pursue than to perpetually abide in His presence?  In what other place could you seek and be filled with greater vitality, joy and peace that will nurture the world?  It is here - in your hearts and through the Love of Christ - that the priesthood will be born anew.  

    A great work of love is being done here, one that proceeds directly from My Eucharistic Heart, to glorify My Father and to redeem the world—for the work of redemption is continued in the Sacrament of My Body and Blood until the end of time. I have chosen you to share in this Eucharistic work of Mine by calling you to this very life of adoration and reparation that you see here. I am here in the Most Blessed Sacrament for you and for the whole world. Take your place here before Me, and abide before My Face, close to My Heart that is all love. It is no little thing for a poor human creature of Mine to prefer My Eucharistic love to an hour of sleep in the night. Only in heaven will you know the worth of an hour so spent. Come to Me, then. Visit Me, and remain with Me by night, and I will work for you, and with you, and through you by day. By nocturnal adoration you will obtain from My Heart things which cannot be obtained from Me in any other way, especially the liberation of souls from the influence and oppression of the powers of darkness. More souls are saved and liberated by adoration made during the night than by any other form of prayer: this is the prayer that unites you most closely to My own nights passed entirely in prayer during My life on earth. Come to Me, then, by night, and you shall experience My power and My presence at your side during the day. Ask of Me whatsoever you will by coming to Me at night, and you will experience My merciful help at break of day. I love with a love of predilection those whom I call to be with Me during the hours of the night. The prayer of adoration at night has the power and efficacy of that prayer made with fasting that I recommended to My apostles as the means of expelling demons from the souls whom they torture and oppress. For this reason, the demons fear and hate adoration made at night, while the angels rejoice over it, and place themselves at the service of the soul who desires to do it. 



Rise earlier. Give Me the first hours of the day. Come to Me before seeking anything or anyone else. I will strengthen you to use well the hours of each day begun in this way. I have called you to be My adorer; all else is secondary. I wait for you in the Sacrament of My love and I am often disappointed because you allow other things to absorb your time and consume your energy. Give Me as much time as you can, and I will give you time and energy to do all that you must do. You will see that by coming to Me first, everything else will appear to you in its just proportions. You will do one thing after another, and all that you do will be marked by serenity and by an inward adoration toward My abiding presence in the tabernacle. I call you to a life of perpetual adoration. Perpetual adoration is a loving attention to My presence. It is a seeking after My Face and a drawing close to My Heart that never ceases and that suffuses every moment of life. This perpetual adoration nonetheless begins with and returns to times of real adoration spent before My Eucharistic Face, during which all other things are left aside. Come, then, to the place apart that I have prepared for you. I wait for you there. Come to My tabernacle and abide in My presence. I will fill you with joy, with serenity, and with wisdom for the demands of the day. Begin always by adoring Me. Do not allow your heart to grow cold towards My Eucharistic presence. I have called you to this life for one thing only: to adore Me for the sake of My beloved priests, your brothers, especially for the sake of those who never come into My sacramental presence to find, close to My Heart, refreshment, light, peace, and, above all else, the love for which I created them and of which I have made them My servants. 

In Sinu Jesu
When Heart Speaks to Heart
A Journal of a priest at prayer