Saturday, April 30, 2016

My soul's audacious desire

Dear Daughters of St. Philip Neri,

You are to be eucharistic souls living eucharistic lives.  Thus, your greatest desire should be that the whole world might fall in love Christ's adorable Eucharist and there to find its truest consolation and hope.  The fullest aspirations of the human heart are to be found there, because there it will find all the love it craves.

Having received and tasted that Love yourselves, let there arise an even bolder desire.  Cry out to God:  "I want to form with purity and sacrifice a "sacrament" of love, a "eucharist" of my heart.
Be thou, O Jesus, the priest of this consecration.  Purify and offer me.  Offer me in sacrifice, and multiply this my "sacrament" as many times as there are tabernacles on the earth.  Make my whole life like a chalice of suffering, so that Thou mayest change it into a perpetual Mass."  May self-love be immolated in you in all its forms and with all its consequences.  Keep silent when the world forgets you and train your hearts to remain at peace in the hour of humiliation.  Let your home be with Christ on the cross.

Fear not - for nothing of love is forgotten and nothing of love is lost.

Beloved Christ, would I were able to draw to Thy feet thousands of hearts willing to offer Thee the sweet odor of their adoration and love.  Would that thousands of souls would come and attach themselves permanently to Thy tabernacle, there to consume themselves like living sanctuary lamps.  Would that the whole world might fall in love with Thy adorable Eucharist and seek there, as in their source, the true consolation, the only hope, and the most perfect love.

Divine Eucharist, Thou are a perpetual manifestation of God's measureless love, and in Thee we receive His loving caresses.  From Thee flow, as from their fountainhead, the candor of the child, the delicacy of the virgin soul, the tenderness of the mother's heart, the dynamic energy of the priest, the forgiveness of the sinner, and the only consolation of the exiled.

Thou fullest all the aspirations of the heart, because in Thee it finds all the loves it craves: Thou loves like a father, like a brother, like a friend, and like a spouse.  But, above all, Thou loves like a mother.  Without Thy heart's warm love, the motherless could not withstand their yearnings for that earthly angel whom we call "Mother."  Dearest Jesus, Thou wouldst not leave us like motherless orphans in the world: Thou Thyself art our Mother.  And without the attraction of Thy Love, the world would never have known those "orphans of love" who have sacrificed everything for Thy sake, nor those "motherless sons" who have left their mothers in order to consecrate themselves entirely to Thy service.

Well mayest Thou tell me from Thy concealment in the Host and in the tabernacle: "Look at me: doest Thou see in me anything but love?" For my sake Thou deepest hidden all the splendors of Thy divinity, and even Thy humanity - everything, but Thy love.

Greedily doest Thou covet our love, squandering Thine own unstintedly on us.

Oh beloved Eucharist, dearest Jesus, it is my cherished hope that some day, free from every earthly attachment, I, too, shall have nothing left but Thy love, so that in my turn I may say to Thee: "Look at me: dost Thou see in me anything but love?"

If at this moment I should ask Thee that, Thy answer would fill me with sadness and confusion.  So many things in me do not bespeak Thy love!  How much negligence in Thy service!  How may purely natural attachments!  How much love of myself!  Truly, I should rather ask myself: "Is there in me at least something which I might call love, merely love?"  Yet, I dare say, there is in me "something" that is merely love of Thee, and that "something" is my pure and true desire to love Thee and to sacrifice myself for They sake.  I wish to live only to adore and to love Thee.  I wish all my movements, respirations, immolations, and sufferings, my whole substance and existence, to be nothing in Thine eyes, but a perpetual hymn of adoration and love.

When at last I shall have reached the end of my earthly life, then I shall understand, better than ever before, the follow of Thy love; because I feel that, when I shall receive my last Sacred Host and take leave of that divine Companion of my exile, my soul's ardent desire to see the eternal Light face to face will not prevent my heart from feeling anguish for having to leave Thee behind on earth.  Therefore, since one folly may well be met with another, allow me to manifest to Thee my soul's audacious desire: I want to form with purity and sacrifice a "sacrament" of love, a "eucharist" of my heart.

Be thou, O Jesus, the priest of this consecration.  Purify and offer me.  Offer me in sacrifice, and multiply this my "sacrament" as many times as there are tabernacles on the earth.  Make my whole life like a chalice of suffering, so that Thou mayest change it into a perpetual Mass.  But, O Jesus, "as often as Thou shalt do this, I entreat Thee, remember me."
What in me has to be put to death, to make possible the realization of my bold desire?  I know - it is my inordinate love of self.  Self-love must be immolated in all its forms and with all its consequences.  I must immolate myself in silence, and keep silent when all forget me.  I must maintain myself in peace in the hour of humiliation.  I must feel "at home" with Thee on the cross, and smile even when tears well up from my saddened and wounded heart.  I must practice unwavering kindness and perfect charity.

Henceforth, then, each time Thou wilt immolate me, each time I call have to die to myself, I shall feel happy at the thought that Thou takes me into Thy holy and venerable hands like a host, to "consecrate"me, to transform me into Thyself, and to offer me in sacrifice.

Like Thy Martyr Ignatius of Antioch, I ardently desire to be "Thy wheat."  I give Thee my heart.  Take it, grind and crush it through suffering and humiliation, forgotten by men and deprived of human consolation.  Thus shall be realized my life's ideal: love for love, folly for folly, heart for heart.

When our union is consummated in heaven and I see Thee face to face, shall I be able to love Thee more?  Thou wert hidden when I first met Thee and, drawn irresistibly by Thee, gave Thee my heart with all the ardor and freshness of a first love.  Hearts loving each other delight in remembering the day of their first meeting, the place, and the most insignificant circumstances.  We, too, Jesus, shall remember in heaven the place of our first intimate communing in the land of exile - that silent chapel, that beloved tabernacle.  I shall remember with love and gratitude the humble sacramental veils that covered and concealed Thee, when I first knew Thee.  In Thy turn Thou wilt remember the garment of misery and weakness which covered and concealed my love on earth.  And even as now my eyes turn heavenward in reach of the reality, so in heaven they will turn down to earth to contemplate the eucharistic skies starred with thousands of consecrated Hosts.

Oh mystery of love . . . folly of love . . . excess of love!

Jose Guadalupe Trevino
The Holy Eucharist