Tuesday, November 17, 2015

you need my silence


Dear Daughters of St. Philip Neri,

Look, God remains present for you in the "Sacrament of Silence."  All this noise, rushing around, tension, and enslavement to self will obscure His Eucharistic Presence.  Your sadness, anxiety, and haste impede your communion of life with Him.  He so much needs your interior silence.  He needs the silence of your will so that you only want Him.  

Your sadness, anxiety, and haste can all be subjected to redemption if you open yourself to God in the Sacrament of His Love.  Give Him those busy tensions destroying your soul and body.  Allow Him once more to forgive you everything on the altar in His redemptive Eucharistic Sacrifice.  He can then convince you again that there is no love like His.

It is in silence that God, from whom I so regularly turn away, comes to me.  For God is Silence.  He comes and speaks in silence.  I am full of interior noise.  I am full of noisy desires, passions, and curiosity.  I always want to know and see more, as the more I know, the more I am esteemed.

There is no real silence in me.  I keep on uttering needless words, asking needless questions.  I am too focused on what is unnecessary.  This all distracts me from my Eucharistic God.  He can't be in touch or talk to me when I am like this.  "After you have left everything," says St. Therese, invoking the Imitation of Christ, "you must above all leave yourself."

Curiosity may seem irrelevant.  Yet in striving to keep interior silence, small insignificant things are important.  Curiosity about the world, human affairs, and everyday happenings can be a big obstacle in my spiritual pursuit.  I need to find calmness in my excessive attachment to exterior things.  This mustn't, however, lessen my awareness of people in need of help.  The curiosity that needs curbing works in me like a constantly switched on TV.  I may not have a TV, yet needless curiosity acts as if there is one switched on inside me all the time.

I can reject this Silence by the noise of pushy pride, excessively wanting to please others.  This is often a terrible enslavement, confusing my spiritual endeavors.  Perhaps blinded by habitually acting like this, I see it as something quite different.

Haste is interior noise.  I am always chasing after something; I tend always to be on the go or clock watching.  Yet if I try to reduce my driving speed for God, it becomes a prayer.  If I try to let God slow me down, He can take me over.  Becoming interiorly silent creates the conditions for the Silent One to come to me.  My haste is a nasty thing, destroying my bond with Him who is all for me.  My haste simply pushes Him away.

Haste also destroys the body.  God's passionate love can speak to me through my body as it disintegrates, loses resistance, or becomes worn out with age.  Maybe I will get to understand that my sufferings and illnesses have a lot to do with my haste.  As I leave the Silence of God, I am highly prone to enter the sick world, the area of tormenting sicknesses.  So through ignoring God, which involves ignoring proper care of the body, many contemporary illnesses like backache, circulatory problems, allergies, and tumors arise in this feverish, senseless running around.  Opposed to the silence of God are haste and anxiety induced by over-ambitious images of personal greatness.

We so much need interior silence.  To find everything, we need to want nothing and nobody outside Him.  Yet even this depends on being in touch with His will.  Fulfilling God's will brings us to discover that this is the pathway to our salvation, soul and body.  It promotes love in every direction.

It is not always possible to pray mentally and with feeling.  The inner light of faith where God lives doesn't always reach the outskirts.  Most important is silence of will, interior quietness, a certain form of detachment when my will focuses overwhelmingly on Him.  Then I supremely desire His will, seek His presence, and want to serve Him.  When everything else ceases to have immediate value for me, my will and love are paradoxically enriched in every direction and concern.  Without this, there is neither interior silence nor good prayer.

Silence of will involves not planning too much.  I can find it by taking up the challenge of having more flexible plans.  By silence I am ready to have my plans thwarted.  Yet I am aware how much confusion and anxiety every disappointment causes me.  This is one of the biggest obstacles to finding real peace. . .  .

Fr. Tadeusz Dajczer
Amazing Nearness