Often we try in vain to understand how to respond to difficult relationships; there are far too many strands that go into their weaving, far too many minglings of the psychological and the historical, the good and the bad. In her counsel, Sr. Wendy seeks to help the young woman to whom she is writing to keep her focus on Christ and what verdict love gives of a situation. All we need ask ourselves is not how to change a particular situation or what is the opinion of others about this or that person, but rather "What is love asking of me?" She reminds the young woman and us that if we could move away from those who cause us difficulty or have maintained our peace because they weren't in our orbit now, nothing would have been healed for us truly, only merely hidden. More often than not God wants the whole thing worked through, entered into, transformed and not transcended.
"Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him . . . "
My poor love, everything he does must be lovely to us, and especially when we do not see it as lovely. Here is your great opportunity to live out your real trust, sinking back into the loving, pierced hands of Jesus and letting Him offer you with Him to the Father. Not to understand, not to desire, not to feel resigned or happy or anything but outraged and somehow betrayed: what scope for love at last to take over!
Please don't think I feel anything but the deepest compassion for you, but I do know that much will depend for you on how total your generosity is in responding. My verdict - I believe the verdict of Jesus - is only on you, it is you that is somehow being "damaged" by a lack of love here. What is love asking of you? I don't know, but something He is not getting. Remember my dearest, that only Jesus sees us as we are. So only when we are wholly in Jesus, seeing through His eyes, loving with His heart, judging with His mind, can we see another truly.
No person exists for us "out there" - only "in here", and if my inner heart fears or repels them, then distortedly. But the Heart of Jesus accepts them wholly as they are. . . .
If you can base yourself on this, that only Jesus really "sees" others and if you unite yourself to that unseen sight of His and pray to Him to make you live by it, seen or unseen, then I can only see grace ahead.
Sister Wendy Beckett