Tuesday, April 22, 2014

A wound of inner discontent

Only in desiring God more intently do we become more silent toward ourselves, more insignificant, poorer before God . . . 

Our internal poverty of soul hinges on our absolute dependency on God.  It is a recognition of our incapacity for God unless he draws us.   We are not freed from ourselves unless he draws us.  We are not freed from ourselves unless released by another hand.  But this freedom is not a desperate venture we can hardly expect to occur.  Our nothingness attracts God's love in the way a poor child's smile draws our own emotion . . . 

A deeper love for God is inseparable from being wounded over time.  Only by a divine wound does our love for God intensify.  This is in part a wound of inner discontent within our soul, the powerlessness of never giving ourselves adequately to love.  Over a lifetime we may find that it is not healed with more love.  Every increase of love only magnifies a demand to love more.  Whenever God draws from us a deeper longing for himself, we should expect this wound will be felt.  There is something of a strange consequence to this.  We realize better the insufficiency of our love whenever God draws closer to our soul.  Nearer to God, we become poorer.

Father Donald Haggerty